"How To Be Confident In A Relationship And With A Man"

So You Can Have The Healthy And Happy Relationship You Want

How To be confident in a relationship and with a man is very important. Even though you may be a couple you still have to be your own person with your own opinions, thoughts, ideas and deserving of respect.

To often though women tend to lose themselves in their relationship or marriage.

Your partner and your relationship become your focus. You're too busy doing everything and trying to please him. That's NOT what men want. You're overfunctioning and he's withdrawing.

When this happens you have to stop, breathe and let go.

I know this all too well because this was where I once was. I lost knowing how to be confident in a relationship.

My self-esteem and confidence was very low after having our children. My relationship, partner and our children became my focus and I lost "me."

I was emotional, controlling and very unconfident.

3 things men hate...

My partner in return was controlling and rude to me.

I began reading How To Have The Relationship You Want, The Woman Men Adore and Magic Relationship Words.

"The 5 Rules You Have To Know On How To Be Confident In A Relationship"

1. Pull back from your relationship

2. Stop overfunctioning

3. Express yourself with feeling messages

4. Take care of yourself again

5. Switch your thoughts about yourself from negative to positive

Let me explain more about how to be confident in a relationship...

I pulled back by not telling my partner what to do. In return he let me be. I stopped constantly trying to please him. In return he started talking to me more and I felt more relaxed. Rather than walking on eggshells around him. In other words I stopped over functioning and began to get the love I want.

I expressed myself with feeling messages. I told him how I feel and what I like or don't like. I still continue to tell him how I feel to this day. Whether it be when I feel great about him or if he's making me feel hurt. This had a huge turn around impact on our relationship. You can read more about feeling messages in my how to argue tips section.

I took care of myself again by doing more of what I like and what made me feel good and still do this. I joined the gym, got my hair done, spent more time catching up with my girlfriends, told myself everyday, "I am beautiful, confident and worthy." And finally learnt how to how to handle conflicts with my partner and there by not lose my self-esteem.

Like magic my relationship began to change.

However...

You want to have the right kind of confidence

Too much confidence can come across as over dominating, too independent, arrogant and even cold. (Actually a fear of showing your vulnerable side) He'll feel he can never do you anything right.

Too little confidence and you lose yourself, you're emotional and too afraid to express your feelings and opinions. Constantly trying to make him happy rather than yourself. He's overwhelmed by your overfunctioning and begins to run for the hills.

The right kind of confidence is when you feel good about yourself. You aren't afraid to express to him how you feel, to turn away from him if he's misbehaving. To be vulnerable and show him your soft side. To give respect and expect it in return. To know you are the woman who you want to be.

"So Why Is Being Confident In A Relationship, With A Man And Having The Healthy Relationship You Want, Sometimes So Difficult?"

Fear of not being loved, fear of love and then potentially getting hurt, fear of intimacy, fear of not having the relationship or life you desire and fear of not communicating how you truly feel.

The change in you begins by taking the risk to change your old patterns and try something new. Step by step, day by day and get back on the highway of love once you've had some time out for yourself.

Whatever the situation you're in, whether it be you want to get your marriage or relationship back on track, get your ex back or find Mr Right you must take time out for yourself.

And yes you must do this even if you're in a marriage or relationship.

You can turn yourself and even your relationship around from being insecure to magnetic!

Find out here what men really find attractive in a woman.

"It's Important When Your Thoughts Are Negative And Your Mood Is Low To Switch Your Thoughts To Positive Thoughts"

We all have moments when our self confidence wavers making us feeling discouraged and down. It's normal.

The voice of negative chatter popping up in your head and being surrounded by negative people doesn't help.

Even the most confident of people get in these scenarios. The trick here is to simply switch off.

The problem becomes when you can't switch off and your mind becomes consumed with negative thoughts about yourself. It's critical then to speak to your doctor.

If however, you just need a boost of confidence every now and then. Simply follow the steps I mentioned in this article and switch your negative thoughts to positive ones.

You'll be amazed how much more confident in a relationship you'll feel. Simply by becoming aware of your thoughts and changing them.